Tying The Knot Step By Step 👟

When using string would you rather have a strong knot or a loose knot? My teacher shared this analogy about “tying the knot.” He showed two different pictures, one was of two strings when tied together they remained separate, but the other picture showed when another two strings tied together they became one. The couple whose string stayed separate after being tied together are often couples who cohabit or date for years and years and never make the commitment. They got used to being together in some things, but still had most things separate. When they tied the knot they remained separate people and it is harder for them to become one. On the other hand the people who had separate strings, but came together as one after tying the knot were able to conjoin in unity. Don’t get me wrong, they will still have challenges, but they will be able to handle them in a more efficient way because they never got into the pattern of being separate. Today I will share more about how to tighten the knot and make it stronger.

LOOSE VS STRONG

The thought of marriage is a scary thing in all stages whether you are dating, engaged, or married. As you transition to marriage it is important to know how to prepare for this life changing event and what steps you can take to make it a better journey.

DATING →ENGAGEMENT

You’ve come to the point in a relationship where you’ve been dating for a while ( or if you're LDS it's been a couple of months )and you're wondering if this is the person I’m going to spend eternity with. I think the most important thing to do first is consult with the lord. Trust in him that he will convey if this is the one. When asking the lord make sure to phrase your question in a “Should I” vs a “Can I” statement because you can do a lot of things, but should you. Make sure you have good communication with your partner and that you both have received answers and not just one of you.

ENGAGEMENT → MARRIAGE

It isn’t uncommon for the man to say he doesn’t care or you can decide. Planning the wedding together as a couple can greatly affect your relationship during the engagement period. As you work together to plan your wedding it can help prepare you for the future because you are able to get closer, practice making decisions, learn how to be frugal and budget. In saying this it is important to prepare for your big day, but people often forget to plan for the marriage as well.

MARRIAGE → FUTURE

A big reason to consult with the lord about your marriage is because of the covenants you make with God. In a civil marriage you make promises to each other, but in a covenant marriage you make promises to god because a covenant is a two way promise with god. I think of a covenant marriage as a triangle: Man and Women are at the bottom points and God is at the top point. As you grow and learn together as a couple you are growing together towards God as you strengthen your relationship. I know that I’ve never been married, but I’ve talked with people who are and marriage is not shy of challenges. Here are some challenges others said they wished they would've discussed or known about before marriage.

Challenges in the 1st Month of Marriage:

• Sleeping Challenges/Habits: Snoring or Sleeping preferences of getting hot or cold

• How you set up your house

• Women: Changing your name

• Merging 2 cultures/ how you are raised

• Spirituality habits

Challenges in the 1st Year of Marriage:

• Finances/ Spending Habits

• Parenting Styles

• True Colors/ Attitudes will show through

• Holiday Traditions

• Friendships: Will you have the same or different friends after being married

• How to argue/discuss how to handle situations

Marriage isn’t easy and the steps leading up to it when dating and being engaged are just as hard. I hope you take this blog as a survival guide and hope that it helps you if you are conflicted in knowing what to do in your relationship. The journey of marriage is eternal so there will be bumps along the road, but if you choose to involve the lord in your relationship it will make it easier to take that next step. As you develop your relationship step by step you are able to strengthen and make the knot tighter and tighter as you become one unit.