The Final Chapter

During the course of the semester I have discussed many family topics like dating, engagements, family problems, marriage, gender differences, and parenting. One family topic that we haven’t discussed is divorce and remarriage. I feel like ending the class talking about this kind of wraps up the course since we’ve talked about many family situations and how to handle them. The reality of some situations is that it would be best to end the marriage. Today I’m going to discuss the effects that divorce has on family and when they decide to remarry into a different family.

Statistically the divorce rates have slowly been coming down due to people not getting married as they choose to cohabitate instead. I have heard a lot from people who are around my age saying the same things, “I don’t want to get married or have children.” In today’s society people don’t want to get married and have children, especially people in early adulthood because they are AFRAID. Increase in fear has stopped a lot of people from getting what they want and sadly not having a family often happens because they don’t want their fears of divorce and heartbreak to come true.

It is not uncommon for parents to divorce when their children range from 2-5 because adding the challenges of parenthood can be very stressful or they will lose interest for each other after kids grow up and move out of the house. A lot of parents choose to divorce and it is not uncommon for 70% of the couples to say they could have/ should have saved the marriage. There is a high likelihood if couples muster through the challenges in marriage by just hanging on and not leaving the first chance they can when things get tough, then they will most likely be more satisfied. IT DOES GET BETTER! Every relationship is different, so some challenges are worse than others. Sometimes that isn’t the case and divorce happens which opens the door to remarriage.

Remarrying someone is hard, but it can be more challenging when you remarry into a family that already has children. People need to be thoughtful and intentional when dating a partner with kids because you are not just dating your girlfriend/boyfriend, but you are dating their kids as well. If the two of you were to break up your ex isn’t going to be the only one affected the kids will be too. It’s important to include the kids and get to know them before you decide to get married. We watched a music video by Brad Paisley that described the feeling children have when their parents start dating someone after a divorce and how this new person in their life affects them. https://youtu.be/BjO1F6oCab8

You might both have children and depending on their age it can be difficult to coexist as a blended family. On average it can take up to 2 years or more to reach a sense of normality in the family because the family's routine is thrown off course. It is smart to allow the Birthparent do the heavy discipline because kids might react badly when the step parent tries to tell you what to do. The step parents should act more like the fantastic aunt/uncle. In saying this it doesn’t mean you let them do whatever they want, but you should invest your time into them, spend time with them having fun, care for them, and encourage them to go to their parent. It’s important that the parents have more closed door discussion and work out how to handle the parenting and the situations that happen.

Initially I didn’t want to do a blog for this course because I was scared to be vulnerable and share my thoughts and opinions due to the world we live in today. In this society a lot of times it is not acceptable to share your views especially when it’s different than the normal. A lot of the things I’ve talked about and learned about family and it’s relationships are not what is trending and current. Now that this semester is coming to an end as I reflect back on my experience of blogging my perspective has changed. Blogging my thoughts and typing them out in this format has also helped me to reflect and learn more than I would if I wrote a paper or did an assignment. I can also share it with anyone else who might need to hear it. I’m so grateful I’ve been able to learn more about these essential family topics that will help for my future family. I’m glad I didn’t drop this class because if I did I would’ve missed out on learning about these life changing tips.