Throw The Glass Slipper Away!
Have you ever been in a situation when a girl or guy asks you to hang out. It seems like more and more dating is happening less and “hanging out” is happening more. A date can be defined by the 3 P’s: PLANNED, PAID FOR, PAIRED OFF. When hanging out and dating depends on your intention, do you want to be friends with this person or be something more. The amount people are going on dates has decreased over the years for a number of reasons.
Don’t Want A Commitment
A lot of times people have the expectation that if they go on a date with someone it means they have to be in a relationship or start “talking.” When people aren’t tied down to a commitment they feel like they are free to talk to whoever and easily get out if they don’t want to talk to this person anymore. The younger generation has forgotten the term Casual Dating. Casual dating is when you go on dates for fun and to get to know someone. If you want to casual date some ideas I researched were:
SOMETHING TO LEARN: People like to share talents ask them to teach you
SOMETHING IN COMMON: Instant connection when you have shared interests
MAKE IT EASY: Be open and able to reach, Dates can be no big deal, when asking the person to go is no big deal
ASK FIRST: It is traditional for the guys to ask, but girls can ask too. Let the person know this is casual with no strings attached or an expectation of a relationship.
SET UPS: Connections can lead to dates. Doesn’t have to be the perfect date because it’s not forever, it's just for a couple of hours.
OLD FRIENDS: Reconnect with someone from your past that you want to get to know better
2. Cost Too Much Money
With social media being such a presence in a lot of people’s lives we are able to see more into others lives. People like to show off online and flaunt their elaborate dates, homecoming asks, and proposals. That is the expectation most people have when planning a date that it needs to cost a lot of money and be fancy, but people have said some of the best dates were the ones that didn’t cost anything. My professor talked about one time he went on a penny date. It was a double date with his friend and they told the girls to bring all their pennies and they went to the store. They split the pennies up and divided who was going to buy the main course, sides, and dessert. They only had like $7.00 in change, but they were still able to have a meal, have fun, and get to know the girls they were with.
3. Avoid Pain and Risk
It’s hard to be vulnerable with someone you just met or to be so open with someone for so long, but when they leave it damages your trust. That’s why people opt to hang out more because it's less awkward in a group setting than on a date. They have less chance of being embarrassed or saying the wrong thing when it is just one on one. The downsides of hanging out with a group are some people are competing for time or aren’t fully themselves because they are shy or act differently around certain people. That’s why people have the mentality to just avoid pain and risk by not dating others.
Dating is easy for some and harder for others it just depends on your intention and attitude about it. If you're someone who doesn’t go on dates because you claim people don’t ask you I would take a step back and reevaluate. It’s true some people won’t be interested, but you need to ask yourself am I being proactive and doing my part too. You can’t just sit around waiting for the perfect girl or guy to ask you because it’s simply just unrealistic. People need to stop having the glass slipper mentality thinking their prince or princess is going to magically appear with a glass slipper that only fits you. Throw the glass slipper away and don't wait for others to cary your glass slipper around the campus looking for you. Go out and actually talk to others and seek that person you like, the person who is worthy of your time, and can inspire you to be better.
In this video I explain I thought I knew a lot about the topic before this week's lesson, but after doing the proper research and being taught these different things I now know more than I thought I did before.
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