The Gift of Sexual Intimacy

I just want to be open and put this out there right away this is awkward for me to talk about sex because growing up this wasn’t a topic that came up a lot in my LDS household. In saying this I know my parents would’ve answered any questions I had. It was just one of those situations where I didn’t ask and they never brought it up and that's just the way it was. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Some parents aren’t very affectionate in kissing or cuddling in front of their kids, so when they grow up they might be unfamiliar with doing that with their significant other. Having openness in the family is essential becuase some people don’t talk with their parents about sex before their wedding day so they might be nervous or view it as a negative thing. We are given resources to read every week in class and one that I was unaware of is the parents guide that the church has put out. I feel like it can be very helpful to parents who might want guidance on these topics when teaching their children. A Parent's Guide

I don’t remember ever sitting down and having “the talk” with my parents so a lot of my information about sex I’ve learned online/social media, friends, or at school. I think the problem with that is so much of what we learn about sexuality coming from media, those skewed messages, combined with a lack of understanding about God’s view of sexuality, can contribute to unhealthy relationships, pornography use, and abusing others’ agency. I feel like when I took my sex education class it just went over the basics like the different parts on male and female bodies , the sexual diseases, and ways of prevention. I also learned about it in church when it was that time of year again in young womens where I had to hear that awkward lesson on sex or sometimes teach it. I feel like especially in this church becuase we believe in be chaste before marriage it can sometimes bring a negative vibe. I’ve heard of a lot of instances when people teach this topic in school or church they will use object lessons that are really objectifying and hurtful. In some cases people have chewed a piece of gum or crumpled a flower and then say try to put it back to “normal”, but you can’t get it back to the state it was in before. They compare that to if people have sex before marraige you will be “damaged.” Whatever the circumstance I feel like it's important to point out that if you have sex before marriage that doesn't decrease your value and you are not broken. God has granted us with the amazing gift of repentance and will always love you no matter what happens.

In class this week I feel like it was one of the first times where we discussed sexual intimacy and I didn’t view it as a bad thing, but as a beautiful thing that can bring a couple closer and deepen their relationship. It was nice to hear the positive aspects of it and not just the negative consequences. It can be a sacred, beautiful, joyful part of our lives that leads to greater unity with our spouse and God. I think it’s important to treat marital intimacy as a fragile gift. In marriage especially when first being intimate are you going to take this gift and unwrap it slowly, be gentle, and treat it as a beautiful thing or unwrap it as fast as you possibly can. Unwrapping it fastly can lead to difficulties whether you can’t find a balance, don’t understand each other's wants and needs, or don't feel comfortable. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, can communicate openly, and are able to find a balance with our spouse it can be beneficial in your sexual intimacy and help out in other areas of your marriage. When we are able to find a purpose and view this in a positive light we can be prepared to have a strong, fulfilling marriage, and invite the Savior’s peace into your life.