Conspiracy Theories? No Family Theories :)

I was signing up for my classes with my mom right beside me helping me determine which courses I should take for my freshman year of college. My class options were pretty slim because I should’ve sat down and done this months ago, but my procrastination got the better of me. I did see there was a Family Relations Class with spots open so I signed up for the class. If I’m going to be honest it was really late when I signed up for the class so I didn’t even remember that I did so until I was looking at my classes a couple weeks later. I was so mad when I talked to my mom and said, “Why did we sign me up for a marriage and family class? I'm not even married yet.” I was already a little skeptical about the class and then I learned how we had to blog about what we learned in class every week and I immediately thought I needed to drop the class because as a shy person being vulnerable is not one of my favorite things to do. If you're reading this right now (spoiler alert) I didn’t drop the class and since then I’ve been able to learn what the class Family Relations is really all about and why it was essential to take this class.

Each day we come to class ready to discuss the topics we read about beforehand and I like the way that is set up. It allows for us to really learn and understand what we are talking about in class. We are able to get additional insight and hear new perspectives from other classmates and our professor.

This week we focused on family dynamics and theories. As we talk about family dynamics it lays out the way in which members of a family interact with each other in relation to their individual goals and preferences. A key part in family dynamics is family rules. Depending on the type of family these can be spoken or unspoken rules. It can be the rules that are never talked about, but are unspoken things that you’ve just always known. Along with the rules of the family there are also theories that play a big part in how the family functions.

When we think of theories often we think of conspiracy theories or theories in a scientific setting, but there are several different types of theories that coincide with the family. Theories are defined as an attempt to explain a phenomenon.

SYSTEMS THEORY

The basic idea to this theory is, “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” System theory is the belief that every family plays a certain role. Common roles in families could be the victim, the clown, the problem child, the protector, and the caretaker.

EXCHANGE THEORY

Exchange Theory is the belief that people only stay in relationships to get something out of it or something in exchange. When people are faced with obstacles or decisions, after outweighing their options they choose the option that provides the most benefits and the least consequences.

SYMBOLIC INTERACTION THEORY

Symbolic interactionism is the belief that humans are shaped by interactions with people and that past experiences play a role in the way a person develops. A key part in this theory is communication whether it is face-to-face, repeated, or meaningful interactions among individuals.

CONFLICT THEORY

Conflict theory can be a disagreement whether it is over power or gender equality. Conflict can produce a negative effect, but it can also be positive. After conflict you can appreciate a person more after the issue has subsided. You are able to see a new perspective, grow, and learn from the conflict, but the negativity can linger when you keep a fixed mindset and don't resolve it.

You just read about all those family theories and now you're like why should I care about those. These theories help lay out the dynamic of the family and describe how each family works. When couples or families come to therapy to seek help these theories are often applied to determine and pinpoint how the family is shaped and what is the best way to help.

I told you in the beginning about my fears for this class and why I was unsure about taking it, but in these three weeks I’ve realised why it was essential. My family isn’t perfect and has always had its ups and down so I think it is so cool that I get to come to this class and study about why my family is the way that it is. I also get to understand different topics, trends, and cultures within the family that might not be prevalent in my own. It has always been a goal of mine to someday have a family, but I worry that I will fail or won’t know what to do. Each week as I apply and deeply learn about these family topics I am able to gain knowledge that will help me with my future spouse and future family. I am able to gain more confidence in my skills and abilities when I apply these teachings to my daily life.