CHANGE 🤝 FEAR

Current trends in the family, and the impacts of those trends

So, I am traveling to Idaho on a 14-hour car ride to get to college and I shuffle my playlist because you can’t take a road trip without listening to your favorite songs. Like imagine how boring and awkward that would be if it was silent for hours upon end. The song Broken Home by 5 Seconds of Summer comes on and I decide to not skip since I haven’t heard it in several years. After the song ends my mom says, “That is something you don’t hear about a lot today in songs.” The song is sung from the kids’ perspective and describes their broken home because their parents have decided to divorce. People might not hear about divorce in music today, but it is a very common family trend.

It is no secret trends in the family now differ greatly from trends in the past because that is what happens over time things CHANGE. Now the question we should ask ourselves is, have these trends affected families in a negative or positive way?

AGE OF MARRIAGE

In the past it wasn’t uncommon for couples to marry in their early 20s in the late 19th century and throughout the 20th century. My dad was only 22 and my mom was 19 when they got married, so it is strange to think the age of marriage rate has changed. Now the age for getting married has gone up with more and more people choosing to get married in their late 20s into their 30s. The average age for women is 27 and for men 30. Many LDS couples differ from this trend with the average age of women being 24 and men being 26. One reason a lot of these couples are choosing to get married later in life is because of cohabitation.

COHABITATION

Couples in today’s society might date for a long period of time, so they are ready to take the next step in furthering their relationship. Traditionally they would get engaged and then married, but today they skip straight to living together and put marriage on the back burner. I’ve seen couples who live together for years and years, and some even start families with pets or children. They think now that I have a family we should seal the deal and finally get married after living together for so long. When they finally do get married not long after they file for divorce. I don’t know if it is because people don’t feel tied down when they are just dating and can get out any time, but when they finally have a commitment they feel trapped. There can be many other reasons for divorce, but the divorce rate for cohabiting before marriage is 1.31 times higher now than in the past.

DIVORCE

As more couples separated, divorce gradually became a normal part of life. Divorce can be related back to the age of marriage and cohabitation. As couples are getting married today as we stated earlier many are waiting because they want to be sure this is the person they want to spend their life with, but this often leads to cohabitation while they are waiting to see if this relationship is going to work out. Cohabitation tends to lead to more divorces after they get married. When the parents decide to dissolve their marriage it can impact the family in big ways depending on how the parents handle the situation. If people divorce because a parent was abusive or abandoned their kids it can cause the kids to not want a family or kids of their own. It can also lead children to have mental health issues because of the big change that has occurred in their life.

CHANGE

There is that word again CHANGE and something that goes hand and hand with change is FEAR. Fear has affected these trends heavily in these past couple years because of the influence of social media and individualism. People focus on themselves first before wanting to start a family because they fear if they get married or have a family they will miss out on other opportunities. The adversary is hitting hard right now on young adults as he tries to convince them that family isn’t important and they often think they will be happier to live carefree in the single life. The Family Proclamation states “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” I believe family will bring blessings and happiness as long as we embrace the change and leave the fear behind.